PART 1
At a critical moment during one of our family history discussions, and to motivate me to write a memoir, Bob asked: "How would you feel if your grandmother left a collection of stories of her life growing up in a small European shtetl, raising a family, their subsequent journey to America and adjustment to a new home?” My reply was: “Of course, I would be thrilled with such a treasure!”
That image combined with a collection of stories, interviews, family trees, photos, documents and other memorabilia was all the enticement and inspiration I needed to get started. After experimenting with several ideas, I finally decided to focus on the generation that came before me while some of the people were still here to tell their stories. There was a time-sensitive richness from the past that could be lost entirely to future generations, and I wasn't willing to take that chance. Vignettes of my own lifetime experiences were put on hold to be completed at another time.
My original plan started with a one page note to my grandchildren dated the fifth night of Hanukkah, 2004 and was to continue with a children's story book describing my father's early life and journey to America. It was an adventure for him, and I was sure it would be a delightful and enjoyable experience for me to write such a story. My father's birthday was celebrated each year on the fifth night of Hanukkah and my intention was to continue his story each year as a gift to the grandchildren.
Time passed, young grandchildren became young adults and I felt more motivated to take the project in a whole new direction. The idea for a children's book was abandoned and the project took on a whole new direction that culminated successfully in 2010 with the publication of: Remember Me to The Little Ones A Family History, a greatly expanded, complex, more inclusive, adult oriented book for all ages.
The gradual evolution of the manuscript had a rocky beginning and I owe a debt of gratitude and special thanks to Sherman Yellen, a cousin through marriage and a gifted nationally recognized playwright. His perceptive and clearly itemized list of valuable suggestions for improving my original manuscript — which was caving in under the weight of too much confusion and historic background information — was pivotal in helping me move forward with a suggestion to write a more personal family history with greater focus on the people and their stories.
At that point the chaos was reduced to a simple goal to preserve the legacy of the past for future generations in a collection of stories woven together with some sense of order, clarity, and beauty. It seemed simple enough, however, it was a first-time project for me, an incredible learning experience and a lot more work than I ever imagined. I wavered between confident, happy and highly motivated to feeling overwhelmed and discouraged. The details and decisions that needed to be made went on endlessly day after day. Critical new information became available after the completed manuscript was already sent to the publisher. There were delays and some wonderful stories and photographs that arrived too late to be included in the book. All the while, new marriages took place. Babies were born and there were deaths in the family. Family trees were continuously needing to be updated. It was very stressful. Any one of the issues mentioned would have been easy to resolve, but many of them came together at the very end, with the press ready to roll. Fortunately, I had the help, patience and understanding of many kind and generous people who shared their professional expertise as everything finally came together so beautifully.
In 1982, Bob and I were introduced to Arthur Kurzweil, a highly respected well-known genealogist, and his book: From Generation To Generation: How To Trace Your Jewish Genealogy and Personal History. He came to Phoenix again many years later to give another lecture for an adult education group called “Passages.” Bob and I had dinner with him and then we spent a short amount of time together at our home before the lecture. During that time, Bob suggested that I show Arthur a copy of my manuscript. He was encouraging, asked some questions, and made some suggestions. As we were about to leave for the lecture, he said: “You are planning to have an index, aren't you?” I had never thought about an index, until he mentioned it. However, I knew, instantly, that it was important to add one to the book. The index, aside from being helpful to readers, turned out to be a link to discovering a new branch of my family tree. By coincidence, after the book was published, a relative was told by a friend doing family history research, that his last name was in the index of my book. He called me to introduce himself and we discovered that we were definitely related! Another large branch was added to the family tree!
Part 2
Even as the presses started to roll, including the quickly added index and a very thought-provoking forward by Arthur Kurzweil, I was working on an outline for a supplement with all the material I had hoped to include, and the surprise amount of information uncovered after the book was published. With all the updating information for family trees that took place throughout the development of the manuscript, I quickly realized the family history will always be a “work in progress.” This small project is “a snapshot in time” spanning 100 years yet growing exponentially every year. Family history is not just about the past. Every day, living in the present, we are contributing to that flow.
Sharing Remember Me To The Little Ones with so many people, the result of extra books available from a required minimum order from the publisher, and experiencing a huge number of overwhelmingly positive responses, has made me realize that the gift I gave to others was a gift returned to me tenfold. The book created a “life of its own” after it was distributed to family, friends and genealogy libraries in the United States and Israel. My life at that time, was filled with what I've called “instant celebrity status,” for lack of a better description. It left me astonished, delighted but somewhat bewildered and surprised, and at times a little bit uncomfortable.
Without realizing it until long after the books were distributed, I got answers to questions I asked myself when I was weary or discouraged during the years it took to complete the book: “Will anyone really be interested? Will what I am doing matter to anyone in the future?” The flood of wonderful responses from recipients has given me the confidence to answer “yes” to both of my questions. Just knowing that the generations — those I know and those I will never get to meet — will be just as pleased with the gift passed down to them, as those who received it during my lifetime, is my reward.
Since the book was published, it has taken on a life of its own and there have been many wonderful surprises along the way — happy recipients, grateful relatives, unexpected publicity, wonderful responses, newly found relatives and friends, telephone reunions with people from the past in Newburyport, and the list has continued to the present time. It has been an extraordinary adventure, beyond anything I imagined. In 2020, one of the most exciting family discoveries came about through a DNA connection that would not have been possible in the early years of research. I tried many times to locate descendants of the Robert Wein family, originally from Laconia New Hampshire, and finally we were able to reconnect and share family history! It was a thrilling discovery!
Another of a long list of exciting and memorable experiences took place at the Newburyport Public Library when I visited the genealogy archives to thank Jessica Gill for her help and to deliver a copy of the book. At that time, she created a book plate, registered the book on the World Catalog and the library consortium. She also introduced me to the collection of Bertha Woodman's Oral History Interviews. I was stunned and thrilled to discover that there was an interview with my father, Elliott Wein, among them! It was a wonderful interview that answered many questions I never thought to ask.
About a month after I mailed a copy of the book to the Yiddish Book Center for their library, I called to see if it had arrived. The person that answered the phone told me that the book had arrived and that there was someone in the library using it that day to research background information for a production of “Fiddler on The Roof!” I was delighted to learn that the book was being used that way, and I hope it was helpful.
Shortly after the book was published and I was considering a supplement to follow, I came across an old photo that was given to me by a cousin in France who had visited relatives living at Kibbutz Ein Dor in Israel. I had tried on several occasions to reach them, sending letters by regular mail, but without success. Wondering if they still lived there after so many years, I decided to try one more time and called Kibbutz Ein Dor directly by phone. To my surprise, delight and sheer amazement, the person who answered the phone was a relative! We had a wonderful conversation and continued corresponding over several years.
Another family group was added to the tree!
Another surprise occurred In July 2011, a year after the book was published. Rudi Ramos, the designer of the book, called to let me know that it received an Honorable Mention Award for a book design in the Art Category from Rocky Mountain Book Publishers. He was very happy and I was delighted to hear the news!
After almost a decade the dining room table of our home was no longer used as an office. The extra long table was closed and finally cleared down to the beautiful wood, so lovingly dusted, polished and enjoyed — waiting for the wonderful family dinners and celebrations that took place there throughout the years, to resume once again. The table, no longer used as a writing desk, editorial center, filing location, research layout space and distribution center to handle the endless lists, folders, files and piles of boxes and notebooks filled with material, in progress, for two books: Remember Me To The Little Ones, A Family History and then Bob's family history, The Golden Medina, completed in 2014.
After the book was published, I was asked the question: “If you knew then, what you know now, what would you do differently?” My answer was that I would develop a beautifully finished chapter including pictures to send to relatives, early on, to motivate them to cooperative and send information in a timely manner. Bob published The Golden Medina 4 years later and had the benefit of sending my book as a sample to relatives that were reluctant to cooperate when he approached them for information for his and their family history he was writing. After they received my book, they were more than happy to cooperate with him, and the results were wonderful! They were thrilled with his book, and it was a pleasure for him to work with them.
I was often asked two more questions by interviewers and other individuals: “How long did it take” and “How much did it cost?” My answer to both questions was: “Too long and too much.”
Throughout the years since the book was published, I have given it as a gift to friends and friends of friends. A few have shared their own memoirs. I have enjoyed them very much and it has motivated me to read other memoirs, such as: The Hare with Amber Eyes by Edmund DeWaal, Tender To the Bone by Ruth Reichl, Adventures Against Their Will by Joanie Holzer Schirm, and Outwitting History by Aaron Lansky, just to name a few. Each book is, in its own way, a fascinating and exciting memoir.
Throughout the years since the book was published, I have given it as a gift to newly acquired friends and family members in the US, Israel. France, and Argentina. Occasionally, perhaps two or three times a year, I receive a call or note from a family member or friend to tell me how much the book has meant to them — a child or young adult using it as a reference for a school project, a person relating to a similar story in their own family, someone just enjoying a trip down memory lane, a nephew letting me know he read it a second time and how much he appreciated it, a cousin who expressed how happy and grateful she was that stories from the past were preserved and a granddaughter who calls often when she discovers new family information with comments, such as “I never knew that when Great-Grandfather Elliott Wein was a young boy, he liked to go mushroom hunting in the forest!” In 2016 I received a very moving note from a cousin expressing how meaningful the book was for his mother, who kept it at her bedside until she passed away.
As for me, I consider Remember Me to The Little Ones: A Family History to be one of the most meaningful accomplishments in my life, second only to raising a wonderful family along with my husband, Bob. The family history continues daily and with each generation. In the meantime, I've returned to focusing on creating artwork which gives me great pleasure, adding joy to my life and happiness to those who enjoy the paintings.